If you are a paying parent in the CMS system and you are struggling — with anxiety, depression, financial dread, or thoughts of ending your life — you are not weak. You are not alone. And what you are feeling has a documented, systemic cause.
This page exists to name what is happening, show you the evidence, help you understand your rights, and point you towards people who can help. Please read it — and if you are in immediate crisis, call 116 123 right now.
The Evidence
The data the Government doesn't want you to see
The DWP says there is "no causal link" between CMS and suicide. But freedom of information requests, independent research, and parliamentary evidence tell a very different story.
3×
Paying parents die at up to three times the rate of the general population of the same age — for every age group between 20 and 54.
Disability News Service analysis of DWP FOI data, October 2025
4,959
Deaths of paying parents recorded by DWP between 2020 and 2022 alone — approximately 2,480 per year, a death rate of 0.37% annually.
DWP Freedom of Information response
35
Confirmed suicides of paying parents in a single six-month period, revealed by an FOI request. CMS is now actively discouraging further FOI requests on this subject.
STOPS (StopSuicides UK) FOI analysis
96%
Of non-resident parents report that dealing with the Child Maintenance Service worsened their mental health or wellbeing.
Independent research cited in parliamentary evidence
93%
Of non-resident parents say CMS involvement made their relationship with the other parent worse — compounding the original trauma of separation.
Independent research cited in parliamentary evidence
~500
Estimated excess deaths per year in the paying parent population above what would be expected — deaths that would not have occurred at this rate in the general population.
STOPS peer-reviewed report on CMS mortality
"I, and many others, have long known that the CMS and the DWP have been responsible for driving many parents to suicide. For years we have tried to highlight this to the DWP, yet every attempt is met with the same denial — that there is no link between the CMS and suicides."
— Ian Briggs, STOPS (StopSuicides UK). His son Gavin took his own life after CMS wrongly claimed he owed £16,000 — assessed on an income of £76,000 when his actual income was £26,000.
"The frustration that he found ultimately led to him taking his life. His mother had previously written to DWP expressing real concerns about mental health — but there had been no reply."
— Labour MP Debbie Abrahams, speaking in the House of Commons, January 2023, describing a paying parent whose arrears had been inaccurately assessed.
DWP confirmed in a parliamentary hearing that the CMS does not collect data on suicides of paying parents. The minister of the time said this was "absolutely appalling" — yet nothing has changed. Coroners rarely identify CMS as a contributing factor even when families believe it was central to what happened.
The Human Impact
What the CMS system does to paying parents
These are not isolated experiences. They are a predictable pattern — documented across thousands of cases, in parliamentary evidence, and in independent research.
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Financial devastation without warning. Backdated charges, unexplained arrears, deductions from earnings orders — often appearing with no prior notice. Payments calculated on income you don't actually receive, leaving you unable to meet your own basic costs.
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Total silence when you try to raise concerns. Complaints ignored for weeks or months. No acknowledgement. No explanation. The system treating your distress as irrelevant — because you are not the priority. The resident parent is.
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A profound sense of powerlessness. You cannot negotiate. You cannot easily appeal. You cannot make them correct an error quickly. You are subject to automated enforcement while the system moves at its own pace. This feeling of being trapped with no way out is one of the most psychologically damaging experiences a person can have.
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Separation from your children compounded by the system. You may already be dealing with the loss of your family unit. CMS adds financial punishment and administrative cruelty on top of that grief — while being denied the overnight stays that would reduce your payments.
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Chronic anxiety and sleep disruption. The constant uncertainty of not knowing what will be deducted, what new charges may appear, what enforcement action may be taken next. Research links exactly this kind of financial stress and institutional powerlessness to anxiety disorders and depression.
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Housing insecurity and debt. When CMS takes money your budget cannot absorb, everything else falls. Mortgage or rent arrears. Credit card debt. Borrowing from family. The shame and isolation that follows. One paying parent told a parliamentary committee he had been left "with literally pounds to exist on."
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Silence and shame — because society doesn't validate what you're going through. You are expected to "just pay." The narrative around child maintenance rarely acknowledges the paying parent's experience. You may feel you cannot speak about your struggles without being judged. This isolation is itself dangerous.
If You Are Struggling
You are not alone — and what you feel makes sense
If you are having thoughts of suicide or of harming yourself, please reach out to one of the services below right now. These feelings are a crisis response to an impossible situation — not a permanent truth about your future.
You can call anytime, about anything. You do not have to be suicidal to call. If you are overwhelmed, exhausted, or just need to talk to someone who will listen without judgement, call them.
If you are experiencing depression, anxiety, or are struggling to cope, Mind's infoline can help you find local support and understand your mental health rights.
Campaign group — specifically focused on CMS-linked harm
STOPS was founded by families bereaved by CMS-linked suicides. They document cases, campaign for change, and provide peer support for those going through the system. They understand exactly what you are facing.
Your GP can refer you for counselling, prescribe medication if appropriate, and sign you off work if the stress of your CMS situation is affecting your ability to function. Do not wait until you are in crisis — go now if you are struggling.
Many paying parents are men who struggle to talk about what they are going through. Andy's Man Club meets every Monday at 7pm in locations across the UK — free, confidential, no agenda. Just men talking.
The system is designed to make you feel helpless. But you have rights, there are processes that protect you, and there are things you can do right now that make a real difference.
You have the right to make a formal complaint — and they must respond within 40 working days.
CMS has a legal obligation to respond to your formal complaint within 40 working days. If they don't respond or you are not satisfied with their final response, you can then refer your case to the Independent Case Examiner (ICE) — but only once CMS has issued a final decision. Use our step-by-step complaints guide to make sure you follow the process in the right order.
You can request a mandatory reconsideration of any CMS decision.
If you believe your assessment is wrong, you can formally challenge it. This is free. If mandatory reconsideration fails, you can appeal to the independent tribunal service — also free.
You can tell CMS you are vulnerable — and they must treat you differently.
CMS has a "complex needs toolkit" for vulnerable clients. If you tell them — in writing — that you are experiencing mental health difficulties, they are required to handle your case with additional care. Put it in writing. Keep a copy.
A Deduction from Earnings Order can be challenged.
If a DEO has been placed against your salary, you can apply to CMS to vary or suspend it on grounds of financial hardship. You can also ask your employer to contact CMS directly if the deduction is causing you serious harm.
You can write to your MP and ask them to intervene directly.
MPs have direct access to DWP ministers and can formally request that enforcement action be suspended while a complaint is investigated. Use our MP letter template in the supporter library. It takes 20 minutes.
You do not have to face this alone.
Join this campaign. Share your story — anonymously if you prefer. Read what others have experienced. Knowing that this is happening to thousands of people — not just you — can be the difference between isolation and solidarity.
Real Cases
Real people. Real consequences.
These are not statistics. These are fathers, sons, brothers — people who went through the same system you are in.
"He owed £16,000 — that's what CMS said. His actual income was £26,000. They had assessed him at £76,000. The coroner refused to investigate whether CMS contributed to his death."
— The case of Gavin Briggs, whose father Ian founded STOPS after Gavin took his own life following CMS arrears errors. The system wrongly tripled his assessed income.
"At 72, James threw himself from his bedroom window after CMS raided his bank account and took £10,000 for arrears he did not owe. Tormented by constant texts from CMS, he felt the only way out was to take his life."
— James Anderson, 72. He survived. He shared his story so others would know they are not alone.
"The catastrophic failings by the Child Support Agency left me homeless, triggered a mental breakdown, forced me to leave work, and cost me my job."
— Craig Bulman, who petitioned Parliament after his experience with CMS's predecessor. DWP paid him a £5,000 consolatory payment and then told him there was "no causal link" between CMS and suicide.
These are the cases we know about. The ones where families fought hard enough to get them documented. There are thousands more that never make it into the record — because CMS does not collect data on suicides, and coroners rarely connect the dots.
If you have lost someone to CMS-related despair, or if you want to share your experience, please use our community stories section. Your account could save someone else's life.
You Are Not Alone
113 paying parents signed this petition in its first 24 hours.
Every one of them has a story. Every one of them knows what this system does. Join them — add your name, share your story, and help us force Parliament to act before more lives are lost.